Friday, November 7, 2008

Are You Sexually Active?

I kid you not; I was asked this question last Friday (a week ago). I wasn’t sure whether I heard the question correctly or not. After all, it is such a very personal and private matter that I was sure I misheard her. So I said, “I beg your pardon?”

“Are you sexually active?”

I immediately broke into hysterical laughter. I was at a loss for words! I was like, “Ah….what kind of a question is that?” I’m sure I was beet red from embarrassment about her question. I was laughing so hard, while apologizing to her for my reaction. “It’s just that I have never been asked this question before,” I told her.

“I’m sorry, too. But there’s just no better way to ask the question. I guess I could say, 'are you getting any?’” I erupted into laughter at that, too!

I still didn’t know how to answer her. But my first thought was, “It’s none of your business!” On the other hand, I could have acted like a smarty pants and said something like, “Well, I had sex with my husband last week. Would that count? And I really do like to be more active in that department, but it’s in the middle of a hunting season, so it just has to wait.” Instead, I opted for the simplest of answers. “Yes.” Ooh, that word sounded obscene, all fo a sudden.

What prompted this question anyway? The woman I mentioned earlier is a nurse. She asked me the question when I went to the hospital to do my pre-op tests. I know that she just wanted to make sure that I am not pregnant before I was to be given a general anesthesia or any medication that might be harmful to a fetus. But I still think that there was no reason to ask that kind of question, since the doctor already ordered a pregnancy test on me. That should have been enough. That was all that they did on women patients in the past.

I thought we were done until she asked me another question. “Are you taking any street drugs?”

“Excuse me?”

“Are you currently
taking any street drugs?”

I must have looked like a druggie or a junkie that morning for her to ask me that question? Okay, I may have been acting silly and a little out of sorts that morning. It was because her first question prompted me to laugh hysterically and was still laughing when she asked me this question. On top of that, I worked the night before my appointment with her at 10:45 a.m. So, I was sleep deprived! This, however, didn’t mean that I was under the influence of any legal or illegal drugs! For heaven’s sake! Besides, studies show that lack of sleep tend to make people act as if they're under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

How would you handle or respond to sensitive questions; such as, these?


Lilly's Life said...

Oh gosh, how funny. Well lets look at it in a really positive way she thinks you are way young enough to possibly be pregnant. On the other hand I guess they have to ask except perhaps they could put it in context. Of course after the event, you can always think of lots of hilarious things to say but at the time it takes you by surprise I guess. I think the way to answer questions like this is with a yes or a no. However, if it was me, I would then have to ask millions of other questions like. how is active defined? Do you mean in the last 24 hrs, week month, year, decade or what? LOL! Then as far as the street drugs go I would then have to ask well what are you referring to exactly - I dont have any idea what is classed as a street drug anymore which more than likely means a No but you never can tell.
Your post made me smile Tasha. I hope all is well with you since you are going into hospital. Loved that post!!

Purpled Sky said...

indeed! hospital routine questions--i don't know why they call it that, there's nothing routine about it-- are way too funny and embarrassing. when I gave birth, I was asked at what age I had my first sexual intercourse! amidst unbearable labor pains, i was like "why the question?!"

Matt said...

Tasha, I remember the first time a doctor (male doctor) asked me that question - I wanted to say, "Yes, but don't get your hopes up, I don't swing that way". But i quickly realized why he was asking the question and i relaxed. But it did take me off guard.

I agree with Lilly - a simple yes or no is the best answer. I'm sure they get all sorts of "excuses' or whatever from people who aren't quite sure how to answer it.

Very funny post. Thanks for the laugh. And I hope everything goes well for you. Best wishes!

Shari Schmidt said...

Okay, that's so funny. The nurses just need to check off all the boxes to show they've asked all the questions. They are funny questions, though!

VH said...

Hospitals and doctors terrify me. I do get a annual check-up now but some of the procedures and questions...ugh!

Karen Zemek, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry" said...

With doctors, I just answer the personal questions as matter-of-factly as possible, knowing they aren't really interested in my personal business and that it's just for the medical stuff and they ask these questions every day. I would think they would be embarrassed!

redchair said...

Hi Tasha,
That's hysterical. I don't know how you could possibly handle it better than you did. (I always want to say 'none of your business' also.)

Although, I think we should be able to go in with a list of questions they would be required to answer before the doctor exam. For instance: Have you ever been charged with a crime? And if so what was it? Are you a sadist, masochist, narcissist or psychopath? How many malpractice suits have been filed against you? Any mental illness? Are you a liar?

Wouldn’t that be fun?

tashabud said...

@ Hello Lilly,
I like how you would have asked the nurse to define "active". That would be funny. She would have been the one fumbling for words, eh? Why didn't I think of that?

I guess I should have been flattered like you said. But then again, it was a set of questions she had to ask, which I realized later on—after the fact.

Now that you pointed it out, some over the counter meds can be considered street drugs, depending on how they’re being used nowadays. But I'm sure she meant the hard core illegal drugs. I didn't even take the Percocet meds the doctor prescribed for me after my surgery. I hate ingesting anything other than food. Now, it might be a different story if meds come in covered with tasty chocolates. Hehe.

Thanks for reading and commenting

@ Hello Purpled Sky,
That’s insane. I don’t see any medical value why your doctor needed to know when you had your first intercourse. That was insensitive in my mind, especially in the midst of your labor pains!

Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

@ Hello Matt,
That was funny. I didn’t know you guys get asked that question, too? What’s up with them? Are they taking polls and sending them to some research center or what? Perhaps that’s where all those “Studies show” that all of us are quoting from and just don’t realize it? LOL.

Thanks for giving a man’s perspective.

@ Hello Shari,
I suppose they do, but it was the first time ever that I was asked those questions. First she asked me when my first day of my last menstrual period was. I answered it. Next she asked me if there was a possibility that I might be pregnant. I said no. These are the questions that I had routinely been asked in the past. So, those two questions I mentioned in my post are the first for me. There I was, fifty years old and was being asked those kinds of questions. If I were in my teens or early 20’s, I might have accepted them more readily as matter-of-factly. At fifty, they sounded ridiculous, hilarious, and unnecessary.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

@ Go prepared, VH. Incase they’ll ask you the same questions, you’re already armed with some innovative answers to give. Good luck. Let us know how it goes for you and let us know also if they will have asked you the same questions. I’d like to know. Perhaps, I should start my own polling to see what everybody’s being asked at their doctors’ offices to see if those questions are standard or just limited to Wyoming.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

@ Hi Karen,
As soon as the nurse asked that question, I just lost it and then couldn’t keep a straight face after that. Even the nurse joined me in laughter until we went into more serious subject matters. Next time, though, they’ll not be shocking anymore; I’ll take them matter-of-factly as possible. But then again, I might be in a playful mood and try what Lilly had come up with in her comments.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

@Hi Vikki,
Yes, it would be fun to ask those questions you mentioned in your comments. But I bet you, they would not find them funny at all. I got to thinking. Do you think doctors get asked the same questions when they go for their pre-op tests or when they go for their physical exams? Would be interesting to know, huh?

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Eric S. said...

I like Lilly and Vikki's answers. Turn it around on them LOL. They are questions they probably have memorized from some list they have to fill out.

I can't remember ever being asked anything like that, but then I can count the number of times I've been to the doctor on 1 hand.

I dislike the doctors office with a passion.

siteseer said...

I bet the medical profession could write volumes with the answers they receive. What I hate is when they ask questions that are already in the file. I want to say, 'same as last year'. Or before a procedure at the hospital you have at least six people ask 'what are you here for today?'. Guess they want to make sure they have the right patient. Lots of litigation produces lots of questions. In answer to 'are you sexually active?' I think I'll save the answer of 'I should be so lucky!' - like I say, you just want to keep it interesting for them. Thanks for stopping by my blog - and yes I love babysitting my granddaughter. She's the only one until March 2009 and I don't get to do it often because I work full-time and we were away for 3 months this past summer. Hope you're feeling better

tashabud said...

@ Hi Eric,
I like Lilly's and Vikki's, too. Depending of whether ther is another time that those questions be asked, I might just say those.

See? i don't think that those are standard questions at all. If you havent heard them, I think they're just making them up as they go along. Who knows.

Thanks for reading and commenting.


tashabud said...

Hello Siteseer,
I like your answer "same as last year". That's funny. I know what you mean. Before I was wheeled into the surgery roon, I was asked about my complete name and date of birth 6 times. Now, I completely understand that, and I'm glad that they do. I certainly want them to know who the person they're working on. I'm feeling fine. Thank you.

Enjoy your time with your granddaughter. Thanks for reading and commenting.


reica said...

Very funny! Kind of reminds me about a questionnaire I filled up for my current employer: "Do you drive a 4-wheeler?" or "Do you have a relative who's a plumber?" Huh?

They said it was profiling.

I say it's our obsession, as a society, with collecting data that we never use.

Want proof? I've amassed tons of downloaded articles, bookmarked sites and software programs - over 2 years worth - sitting in my hard drive, unread and unused :)

Regards and hope you have a fast recovery. Talk to you soon!

tashabud said...

Hello Reica,
Drive a four-wheeler? Have a plumber relative? Hmmm...Those questions don't make any sense at all, even in job applications. I tell you, you folks in "Californy" are definitely a different breed. But then again, I'm a very narrow- minded person, you see, and normally don't look outside the box. LOL. See? At least your employer admitted that it's doing some kind of profiling. This just reinforces my belief that we're under some government or private research group that are being conducted through our doctors, employers, hospital, or whatever, without knowing it.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting.


Tina said...

that sounds funny!

i know they always have this long list of irritating questions dont they!

some of them do make you feel uncomfortable. its like am is the right answer yes or no scenario lol :0

tashabud said...

Hi Tina,
They must do the same in your country? Profiling and research studies must have something to do. Just my theory on all of these. After all, some of the questions don't seem to make sense to some situations.

Thanks for your visit.


Kel said...

LOL!!! Yup, pretty uncomfortable questions, eh? My husband and I give blood a few times a year at the Red Cross, and every time we go in to the donation site we have to sit through an extensive interview with a wide range of intially shocking questions.

Once you've been through the interview a few times it becomes more routine, except for a few interviewers that try to give you the dark eye of a "human-truth-gauge" on each question.

The ones that still wig me out though are: "Have you ever sold you body for sex in exchange for drugs?" "Have you ever had homosexual sex?"

It is SO hard not to crack up and say something silly/mouthy . . .

tashabud said...

Hi Kel,
It's good to see you here again. I know what you mean. When they ask those silly questions, you just want to give them silly answers, too. I always wonder if people who actually engage in those kinds of behavior would admit when asked, anyway?

Hey Kel, is there a way I can contact you through email? I just would like to ask for your professional opinion and advice about my novel.

Thanks again for stopping by.


Nicki said...

LOL... I know what you mean! I think they have to ask those questions to everyone though... they just read them right off of a form... so it wasn't personal! I'm used to it so I usually just give a one-word answer and put it out of my mind!

Tasha said...

I didn't know immaculate conception was still an "in" thing...

When my husband (then fiance) and I applied for a marriage license, we were asked if we were brother and sister. Ummmm... no? That was a little weird. My question to her was- do you ever get a yes?

BTW, you have a fabulous name. ;)

Tasha said...

P.S. You should read my blog about getting breast implants. The nurse told me "to go wee-wee in the cuppie so they'd know if I was pregnant". Wee-wee? if I was going wee-wee, I'd be to damn young to be pregnant.

tashabud said...

Hi Nicki,
Now that I'm exposed to it, I'll be more ready next time. Hopefully, there won't be a next time for me. Hehe.

Thanks for visiting,

tashabud said...

Hi Tasha,
Glad to make acquaintance with another Tasha. Welcome!

Tasha, that was funny! Dumb on the part of the other person. Unless many brothers and sisters get married in that part of the country? LOL.

About the "Wee wee in the cup", that was funny, too. Hehe.

I'll be over to check out your post.

Thanks for visiting and commenting.

$300K Nest Egg

         Okay, so I realize that a one million dollar nest egg is impossible for most people to save for, unless you’ve started savi...